November 20

Not sleeping sucks. I won't go into too much detail other than to say I've woken up almost every hour of every night this week. I feel like a zombie. Trying to look on the bright side of things, it can be fun if you just go with it... it's almost like a spectator sport as you watch yourself spout one insane thought after another out to your co-workers and friends. After awhile, however, random observations about tiny, mean dogs that horde candy inside your IPhone start to worry people.

Again, they told me this would happen. I'm struggling not to sound negative or selfish here... just want to be honest about what's going on as this thing progresses. It's hard to think about much else when I'm exhausted all the time. I don't mean thinking about the small mean dogs who horde candy, by the way. I'm referring more tho the general thought that while you're exhausted, you pretty much think, "Wow, I sure am exhausted" all the time.

I guess I feel guilty in some way when I complain about this stuff. I know that there are a lot of people out there in much worse situations than myself. But it's hard to be the Happy Buddha all the time.

I think it would help if I stopped listening to talk radio on the way home from work, and stopped watching documentaries such as "Food, Inc." The more I open my eyes to the current state of this country, the most scared and angry I get.

BREAK:

I had just written several paragraphs ranting about the current state of the world, and then fortunately a buddy called me with some wise words: "Dude, you can't write that crap! Turn off the talk radio already. This world doesn't suck. What you need to do is listen to some Motown."

You know what? He was absolutely right. It's really easy to get caught up in the current state of the world and get upset. Believe me, I've heard all the horrible truths out there currently about healthcare reform, food production, energy crisis, globalization, bailout money, etc. And I'm not choosing to ignore it in some self-induced hippie daze of denial. But at a certain point you have to protect your Chi a little bit from the ugly truth.

So I deleted those paragraphs and I've decided to replace them with a little positivity. Again, I'm doing this as much for my sake as for yours, dear reader. Heal thyself. Soul Power!!!

Today, for just a few minutes, and because my mind is soooo tired, let me shut off the internal dialogue and tune into something bigger and more positive than myself. There's no greater evidence of Spirit in this universe than when we tune into the arts... music, visual, dance, etc. There's plenty of time to worry about shit that I can't control. But it's Friday, and I'll leave you with this: