Monday, May 2, 2011

Well, then...

I just got a call today that they found a possible lesion on my liver after my usual 6 month sonogram. What does this mean? Well, it could be nothing. Or it could be malignant, in which case transplant may no longer be an option. I thought I've been doing so good lately, but I have felt extra pressure on my ribcage in that region and a general lack of energy.

So, if this is it, have I led a good life? Have I become the person that I wanted to be? Have I changed even one life for the better? I know that at 40, I feel like I'm 80. My soul is tired, and I just wish at some point I could find some peace. But I do know one thing: That no matter what the diagnosis, I have to continue to fight this thing and try to inspire those around me and put back as much love into this world as I possibly can before I'm gone.

I'm probably overreacting, but as a seasoned veteran to disease, this is the first time in awhile I've been really scared. Shit. I was having a pretty good day, too.


  1. I'm thinking of you and your family, Pat.

  2. Good or bad, the re-occurring theme is your courage and character, Pat.

    You've kept this life so well. Made it a blessing to us all!

  3. I am hoping, praying, focusing all of my energy on the "it's nothing" part. *~*~*~*~*~*~*it's nooooooothiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggg~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  4. You're a cool one, an oak Mr. Buchta. This ones for you..


  5. No no no! U have wayyyy more time! Stay on the positive! You will not be defeated. Love you and Amanda sooo much. You inspire me!

  6. You are not alone. Not at all. We are all with you and will stay with you. Let us carry your worry and don't stress about work or money or little things. We have your back and we love you beyond boundaries. Get through today, and then we'll walk together through tomorrow and the next day.

    --Leslie, Russ, and little Patrick