Thursday, October 13, 2011

Belief in Balance

Finally. It seems that with cooler temperatures blowing into Texas, the high pressure system we've been under is finally beginning to dissipate. High pressure indeed. A summer of loss, lament, stress, and and worry for so many I know, including myself. In fact, the last two years have pretty much read as a laundry list of unimaginable life disasters, many too painful and personal to list even here, where I try to be my most honest.

And yet, I'm not one to dwell on negativity or the past, for that matter. Rather, my point here today is that all life has a balance... a Yin and Yang, a dark period and then abundant light. And from paying attention to nature's subtle cues around me, I can tell that the light is coming once again. Good God, it's exciting. And again, I'll hit on the same points that I've talked of in the past months to get to this. Perseverance. Humility. Trust in the fact that if you work hard and do your best, at the end of each day you'll know that you've done all you can and the rest is beyond your control. And, for some, the belief that a higher power that we cannot fully perceive will take care of the rest. I think I'd call that Responsible Faith. Faith with the option to call bullshit upon oneself when we rely too much on some idea of a God, and not on ourselves.

Everywhere lately I am overwhelmed by the fact that most people, at their base level, are fundamentally good. I've seen amazing things in the past weeks, as our community has focused on helping wildfire victims who have lost their homes, and in the protestors who are occupying the streets of our nation to let government, tyrannical corporations and financial institutions know that a change is needed. Albeit misguided and unfocused at times, their hearts are in the right place, and they are being noticed. I tend to agree mostly with the recent musings of my friend Mason Arnold, who suggests that real change must happen initially at the local level. We've got to change our way of thinking, help local business grow, and stop playing the victim role. I'm not sure that this is enough when dealing with Corporate America, but it may be the best weapon we've got.

I know, I know, I'm pontificating once again, and this blog was supposed to be about my liver transplant, and I promised to try to make it funny whenever possible. At least for now, my situation is stable. Signs of potential cancer in my "current" liver have not been investigated further at this point, as my docs have seen no recent indicators to believe it's developing into anything more drastic at this time. Basically, we know about all we're going to know for now. But, my symptoms are not too bad lately, my color is good, people say I've got a great glow about me, and I feel pretty well overall. More than that, I've learned some valuable new skills to help me cope with the disease... respecting my physical limitations, saying no to people and events when I need to recharge, and taking the time to quiet my mind and soul and meditate when possible. There's no more, "I need to do this," now. It's been replaced with, "I'm doing this, for my own damn good."

For those of you counting on my usual humor, all I've got for you today is this: Kiss my grits! I can't be funny and charming all the time. I can't tell you that my love of white linen suits and lounge music will sustain you for life. I can't count on the fact that my gorgeous face will continue to warm your heart each and every day. All I can promise is that I'll keep "BE"ing... as the sweet old maid that lived up in the rat-infested shack at the top of my neighbors' hill when I was a kid once told me... "What Be's, Be's." I think she was mostly talking about how she hated her employer, the rich old neighbor lady, and how much she must have hated living in squalor and drinking ripple every evening. I spend a whole summer at age 16 painting her place, replacing and fixing her appliances, and saving up a little change to buy her a teeny black and white TV. She paid me back with a whole bucket of figs.

And I can do that for you too, metaphorically, if you're brave enough to keep reading... I hope I can help fix you up too. All I want in return is a big thing of figs.


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